So I've fixed both my phone and my computer, which means I have steady computer/internet access. I'm still having issues with gchat, however, but am working on that particular snag. Now I begin the hard work of catching up on everything that's gone down during my mini vacay, including: reading my Yuletide and Cap_IronMan gifts, and polishing and sending in my own offerings; some SCrack and Scans Daily biz; reading all the wank I've missed. :DDD

Catch me up flisters, what have I missed?

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/207763.html.

If you're out shopping today, don't buy salad spinners or waffle irons. Trust me, you won't use them. Also stay away from: juicers, rowing machines, and foot massagers.

If you're home chillin like a villain, good show. I tip my glass of alcoholic something or other, to you. Why yes, I am aware that it's only one o clock. We started yesterday off with champagne and orange juice, so today is comparatively tee total-y.

Now, I'd like to express my sincere thanks to those generous souls who took time away from their families to troll me on the holidays. It's people like you who remind me of how blessed I am. I have so many great people in my life, both offline and online. I'm so sorry the same isn't true for you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS NEWAYZ BB. DRINK SOME NOG N MAKE AS MERRY AS U CAN. XO XO

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/207390.html.

Happy Holidays!

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/207255.html.

I had a handful of days where my phone and computer were blissfully problem free. That's all over. I am edging perilously close to a smash-everything sort of mood. Of all seasons for me to develop a technological black touch - I choose this one.

On the upside, I walked around all day yesterday with a plush dog on my head.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/206942.html.

But I'm not holding my breath. I need to take it in for an oil, lube and filter (metaphor alert!) when I get a chance, but it's craziness here at the House of Ill Fame Schmevil. Some of you may have noticed that aside from the odd tweet, or one paragraph update (from work - time theft alert!), I've all but disappeared from the series of tubes and such that we call the intarwebs. Those of you who didn't notice, shame. SHAME. Broken computer + broken phone + apocalyptic personal life = why.

Anyway, the upshot is that I've now got a sort of functional computer, and a fully functioning phone again, but I've got Retailmas, three fic fest deadlines looming, and other more personal stuff going on. So please continue to direct your SCrack questions to kijikun and your scans_daily stuff to my co-mods. Because I'm really not going to be around much, and I'll be reserving my precious computer time for deadline-y things.

Mea maxima culpa, peeps.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/206835.html.

It would probably be a lot like the Gilmore Girls vs. the Zombiepocalypse. Quippy mom, genius daughter, controlling snooty grandparents, gruff yet sweet, handyman love interest. Millions of zombies.

Thoughts?

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/206180.html.

BITCH BITCH BITCH WHINE WHINE WHINE

BABALITY WHINE WHINE BITCH

DISMOUNT

JAZZFINGERS.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/205964.html.

Yeah. Still awake. Insomnia is kicking my ass lately. So let's talk books. Should I read:

The American Crisis, The Rights of Man, etc. (Paine) or Hatred of Democracy (Ranciere)?


Political theory relaxes me. SHUT UP, I KNOW I'M A NERD.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/205605.html.

My phone is broken and my computer is ill. I may be slow in responding to comments and emails, and I most likely won't be on chat. If there's something I've forgotten to get back to you about, drop me another email.

Sorry, dudes.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/204825.html.

I needed some cheering up. Kijikun was like, I'll write something - what should I write for you, bb? And I was like, crack fic, my love. With ducks. Then she was like, O.o. I'll try? Then I was like, it'd go like this...

And then I 2500 words of a story where God is a duck, and the angels of Supernatural frolick naked, (albeit in a totally platonic fashion), in a pond, and Michael is a duckling.

Should I finish and post this story?

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/204484.html.

I have three horror stories on the go. Supernatural has finally provided an outlet for my desire to kill people in horrible ways. BOOYA!


I'm a sick person and I'm going to hell. But we already knew this, right?

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/204049.html.

If you follow me on Twitter, or chat with me, you've probably heard about what I cooked for dinner tonight. The menu:

Arugula and grapefruit salad, with toasted chestnuts.
Toasted whole wheat baguette with aioli.

Sauteed swiss chard and portobello mushrooms, with prosciutto.
Bouillabaisse.

All of that with a nice Pinot Grigio. And for desert:

Portuguese egg tarts.
Espresso.


I purchased the tarts, but made everything else from scratch. Time consuming but easy. This was a really great meal! The salad was perfectly balanced: crispy, crunchy, soft; sweet and tart. The bouillabaisse turned out quite nicely. It was my first time making it, and heck, my first time working with lobster, but definitely a success. :D

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/203591.html.

Does anyone find it strange that Marvel is building a veritable Iron Family of cyborgs, just when they've turned Tony back to his fully human status quo?

Pepper Potts now relies on an arc reactor and (supposedly) pilots and ai-enabled suit. Rhodey is now a cyborg, with weaponry popping out of his arms and legs and who knows where else.

Meanwhile, Fraction has killed Tony's own experiment with human-machine evolution: namely extremis. It's good enough for the sidekick and the love interest, but not for the hero?

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/202862.html.

On outlawpoet's recommendation, I'm listening to the audiobook of Max Brooks' World War Z. I found the whole thing conveniently on YouTube. It seems that the audiobook doesn't have all the content of the actual book, but since I've been meaning to get around to reading it, and haven't, this is a good start.

If you've read it or not, I highly recommend the audiobook. The voice acting is superb - the cast is top notch - and the stories are all visceral and immensely affecting.

The book is an oral history of the world wide zombie war. It takes the form of survivor interviews that span the globe, and the outbreak from start to finish. Brooks pulls no punches, and it goes without saying that the subject matter might be triggering. He's also done his research. He's thought out so many of the possible political, economic and social affects of the dead walking the earth. It's a really smart, really thorough work.

Run, don't walk.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/202707.html.

I just had, by far, the worst work day I've had in months. WORST.

I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE BY BURNING THEM WITH MY EYES. I WANT TO TRAMPLE THEM USING MY HERD OF TRAMPLING-ELEPHANTS. I WANT TO SEND MY HAPPY MEAL PONY TO THEIR HOMES, TO STARE AT THEM WHILE THEY SLEEP. DIE PEOPLE, DIE DIE DIE OMG. *FLAIL*

How to explain... you know those days that start out wrong and keep on getting wronger? Until you get hit by a fucking humvee driven by like, Bill Maher and Ann Coulter, engaged in things you'd rather not know about? And when you're bleeding out in the middle of the street, a bird flies by and does his business all over your open guts? Yeah. That was basically my day. Only in work, rather than bodily trauma form.

In addition to the work woes, my Blackberry Storm got the dreaded app error 523 and is currently in the process of rebooting. Let's all cross our fingers that that's all I have to do. Phone was acting strange all day until it went totally wonky - it actually died on my while I was in the middle of Scans/NoScans Daily business, and tweeting, so I forgive it even less. Daaaamn you phone.


I had to take a post-work nap to recover from the horrors of the day. Gah. So sad.


Post nap, I finished making the stew that I was tweeting about yesterday, and it was so freaking good. Hot italian sausage and beef stew, with potatoes, green and red peppers and cremini mushrooms. NOM NOM OM NOM NOM.

Tomorrow I'll be making a veal and pork meatloaf, served with swiss chard and... hmm. Broccoli? I'll have to think about it.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/202464.html.

I've been doing a lot of baking lately. Today I baked: berry berry Jello cookies and chocolate-dip, oatmeal, coconut, chocolate chip cookies. The Jello cookies are... ok. I'd like them to have even more punch, but they'd probably be a hit with kids. The dips are siiiiinful and sensational. I will so making those again.

My mother and I have been talking Christmas baking, and are thinking that one ~whatever~ a week, will be the best way to go. Say, cherry poundcake in the first week of December, shortbread the second, and so on. Now we're looking for four truly special baked goods to try out. Of course, in order to do our usual cookie exchanges, we'll need to do a cluster of baking leading into Christmas week, but those will be old standbys.

Any baked good recs?

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/202179.html.

I had a nightmare that my job was reclassified and I would have to take a $10/hr pay cut if I wanted to keep it. Truly horrific. :D

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/201879.html.

The World's Biggest Snow Globe Emporium Is Haunted

Summary: It's Black Friday and the Snow Globe Emporium is haunted. (humor)
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel
Word Count: 2065

In Truth (Four Things That Never Happened to Anna Milton, and One That Did)

Summary: Not fate only. (srs business)
Characters: Anna, Castiel, Uriel, Dean
Word Count: 500

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/201533.html.

I hate the fic labels het, slash, femslash and gen.

Het and slash function as warnings: here there be m/f, f/f, or m/m relationship stuff; enter at your own risk. Or alternately, as beacons: slight femslash, come one, come all. Who cares what the story is actually about? They also have the effect of seeming to change the content of a story. "I don't read femslash." And so you miss out on a 300,000 word swashbuckling adventure, because Anna Maria and Elizabeth Swann happen to share a few kisses. "I don't read gen." And so you miss out on a satisfying story about lifelong friendship that has all the hallmarks of the het, slash and femslash stories you enjoy. The romantic labels het, slash and femslash, trump all other content tags save warnings. The story is het before it is horror; femslash before it is a character study.

Gen, in contrast, is a categorical ghetto for misfit stories - stories that are none of the above. It's a category that's simultaneous too wide, and too narrow, to mean much of anything. There's an unending argument over how we can define gen, and that is because gen has no actual content: it's defined negatively. Gen ISN'T het, slash or femslash. Gen is everything else.

Let me throw in some anecdotal evidence now: most fic is not out and out romance. Shipping is a major component of fic fandom, but it's not everything. A romantic subplot in an adventure story =/= a romance story. The appearance of a romantic relationship in a horror story, does not make it a romance, and it does not make it any less of a horror story. There are an awful lot of first time stories, and fluffy romances, but there are tons and tons of stories that deal with ships, without being romances. So why is it important to label a story het, slash, femslash or gen, in addition to pairing and character tags?

There was a time where slash was a genre unto itself, I think. If you read the really old stuff, slash seemed to indicate not just the presence of a m/m relationship, but that what you are about to read, draws on a certain subset of story types and tropes. Slash and femslash are so much bigger now - they are whatever they want to be. A story about gingerbread dudes falling in love can be slash. A story about girls fighting back the apocalypse, and occasionally having sex, can be femslash. So is there still genre called slash, or a genre called femslash? (Seriously people, is there? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this).

As a reader, I find it much more useful to know what kind of story I'm about to read, than to have two different notifications of the genitals contained therein. Femslash, Buffy/Faith, Summary. But What the hell is the story about? Is the Buffy/Faith relationship central to the story - is it about the relationship? If not, then throw me a bone, in the form of a genre indicator. A hint about what tropes you're drawing on. And for god's sake, I get it, Buffy/Faith does indeed imply hot lesbian action. I don't need the reminder.

I know that some people love these labels to death, for whatever reason, but I think that the changing landscape of fic fandom makes them increasingly meaningless. But that, of course, is just my opinion.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/201460.html.

If reading 1/3 of a given comic was an adequate substitute for reading the comic itself, official previews would be putting comics retailers out of business.

Discuss.

Alternate: http://schmevil.dreamwidth.org/201000.html.